April 8, 2008

In My Defense

Okay, it has been brought to my attention (in both polite and rude ways) that I linked someone who is set to private. Honestly, I wasn't thinking about Edtime Stories being set to private. Thankfully, Ed was gracious enough to let me copy and paste (and pimp a little!) the actual post. So, again...let me apologize to anyone who was inconvenienced by being denied access to his actual blog. The story will follow at the end...

But first I need to address some pointed comments and emails that I received today in response to the topic of rape fantasies. I'd like to just say that people can have all sorts of opinions, but I'm respectful to everyone here. I don't point fingers or name call in my posts. I usually try to be positive and respectful when I leave comments. I expect the same courtesy in return. I feel that when a person blogs, she opens herself up to comments and criticism. I'm okay with that...but please do it in a respectful manner.

I know that discussing rape and the fantasy of "being raped" is a touchy subject and should be handled with care. Today, someone implied that if I thought rape was something to be enjoyed I "needed" to be raped myself. I was offended that someone who obviously felt so strongly about rape would say that I should be raped. It also made me extremely mad. And while I don't feel that I have to explain myself or my fantasies in this circumstance I want to explain.

To begin with, I was clear that I did not want to experience any such type of violence. I am aware that rape is a violent act and that there is nothing pleasurable about it. I would never want to make light of a situation that was so serious. But, I'm honest with myself and yes, I do have a "rape" fantasy. I think that most women would agree and admit that they have one too.

Perhaps, rape is the wrong word, but that feeling of being overwhelmed or taken plays a huge part in this fantasy. I love feeling out of control...this is one place where I willing give it up. Having my control taken and given back in pleasure is something that arouses me. I won't apologize for that...

Now, I will apologize if you felt offended or didn't find this post nice and neat. My intention wasn't to offend anyone. If I did, I wouldn't shy away from comments telling me so, but do it in a respectful way. Maybe I'm naive in thinking discussions can be handled in a grown up way, but good grief people...acting like a child, name calling, and in one breath saying how serious rape is and then in the next breath wishing I would have to experience that act...grow up.

Okay, I'm officially ranted out!

For those of you who were curious as to what Ed's post was all about here it is (thanks again Ed for letting me post it inside my post!). Enjoy!

She had told him she would dress for him tonight and did not displease. Her skirt was short and her blouse drew attention to its plunging neckline. The cream color of her skin looked inviting. The tease had begun, but little did he know of her plan. All through dinner she teased him, touching his face, shoulder, and leg. She bent over several times revealing the looseness of her blouse and soft bra underneath. She knew what turned him on and gave him as much as the public and crowded place would allow. Twice while walking back to her apartment she slapped his ass. Not hard but enough to sting and inflame his passion. He wanted her, badly and she knew it.

When they got to her apartment he walked her in, in the living room he reached for her to pull her close. After all her teasing her hug was chaste, patting him gently on the back as she withdrew. Confused he moved in to kiss her and she aptly moved him aside holding a hand out for a shake. Stunned he just looked at her and one eye closed quickly in a wink. As if setting a match to room full of gas fumes, he exploded toward her, pushing her against the wall pinning her hands quickly behind her with one of his. His mouth pushed against hers, his tongue sliding in and out of her mouth, his teeth biting her lips, while his other hand was popping the buttons on his jeans. She could feel his pants slide down between them and then felt him push his growing erection against her. She had noticed a growing and throbbing bulge at dinner, especially when she reach over to his lap to pick up an accidentally dropped fork. But now it was pushing against her as he lifted her skirt and at the same time pulled his cock out over the waist band of his briefs. She squirmed avoiding his advance, but he was stronger, more in control and her efforts were futile. He thrust against her and could feel him pushing her own panties against her soft moist flesh between her legs. Suddenly his hand seemed to move the silk to the side and he entered her, one deep motion pushing her hard against the wall. Instinctively she seemed to lift a leg pinned hard against the wall. She tried to make a noise but his hand now held not only her arms but covered her mouth. She could hear his breathing quicken and his cock stiffen. She began to bite his finger and could feel his orgasm fill her up, exploding in her as he let out his own shriek.

Disengaging from her, he fell to the floor, his jeans at his ankles, his cock, still throbbing, dripping slowly the last of his cum. She looked down at him, and reached between her legs, he watched as she pulled back her panties and slid two fingers into her red, puffy pussy. Withdrawing them she slid them into her mouth tasting the combined flavor of him and her. She stepped toward him, gently kicked him and walked back to her bedroom. Opening a draw she pulled out a diary. On a list on page one she crossed out yet another line that read “Get him to rape me”.


Alfie said...

I guess "rape" in that context is a convenient code for something else.

Naughty Girl said...

Alfie: I think in this sense it means that overwhelming and powerful force that comes when a lover is unrestrained.

Stratocast said...

I suppose "rape fantasy" has certain non-PC connotations. I suppose it's also very un-PC for me to say "Who's pussy is this?" during sex. It's also very un-PC that a guy I know hires black women (they have to be black) to put a leash on him and make him crawl around on all fours. It's also very un-PC for a woman to play a fantasy of being a stranger in a bar and her husband to play along and pick her up, essentially cheating on his wife.

It's all just fantasy. Outside (or even inside) the bedroom, we don't really condone rape, women being subservient to men, racism, or cheating on our spouses (I'll plead the 5th there.)

No one actually gets hurt, so what the heck. If it feels good . . .

David said...

Well, that was a pretty mild and tiny rant; I just know you can do better than that!

The problem with rape is that there is more than one thing going on at the same time and everyone focuses on the assault part of it. A rape is a physical assault, often combined with physical battery, and there is a sexual component, and all manner of emotional elements.

I have spent a lot of time talking to women who have been assaulted and a great man of them feel they are wrong and to blame because they had some kind of pleasurable response to the sex. That in no way justifies the physical assault, and just because the sex felt good, does not mean they wanted it.

I am sorry you got slammed to hard for this but most people do not recognize the two conflicting feelings that can come from this kind of physical encounter. There is certainly a controlled, rough sex notion that many have fantasies about also.

I had originally included a discussion of this dichotomy in my recent Discovering Submission post but took it out because it altered the focus of my point. I know you and I have posted on the edges of this topic with the whole Daddy/little girl experience and I applaud you for examining issues.

I have written this topic, or parts of it, a couple of times, as I mentioned above. Perhaps it is time to make a big ole honking post about it and see what kind of rocks I draw.

In the mean time, you go (naughty) girl.


David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rae said...

Bravo. I am as PSYCHO anti-rape is it gets. I said that rapists should be tortured and killed in their sleep (ok, so the torture part might be difficult while they are actually sleeping) in my Crim Law class, and I know a couple of women who have been raped.

But I understand the "rape" fantasy side of things. I hate the violence, I don't ever want that done to me, and that physical assault is disgusting to me. But "rape" fantasies aren't truly about being raped for most women. They really are just a manner of giving up control and feeling that you weren't the one who had to necessarily give up control. If that makes sense.

If they don't believe this is a common female fantasy they should read "My Secret Garden" by Nancy Friday. Great post, and good for you for telling off the detractors, they can get over it. It's opinion, it isn't something you think should ever happen to another woman.

Southern Sage said...

Hey sugar I hope you didn't mis-understand my comment! I meant not to criticize!
I was just saying that the thrill is the raw power and forced submission.
I knew a chick once...........

Naughty Girl said...

Stratocast: I would venture to say that there is a lot of un-PC stuff going on in bedrooms across the world! But as you (and I) have pointed out...it is a fantasy.

David: Yes, it was tiny. I don't want this to become a rant blog, but I felt I needed to respond to some of the comments. I'll be curious to see what happens on your blog!

Rae: I agree...100%

Sage: You always "knew a chick..."! I understood what you meant. It is a raw topic and some will understand and some won't. That is just how it goes sometimes!

Southern Sage said...

NG: ok whew!
I did know a chick!!!

Loving Annie said...

I think it was the specific word - and the fear and terror and anger and emotional devastation associated with the thought of that word - that brought the less than positive responses, Naughty.

Having someone you love or who turns you on 'take you' is a totally different thing. And probably that IS something many women fantasize about.

But obviously the emotions involved are different.

I think ranting is a good thing on blogs because it gives you a chance to clear the air and say what and how you feel, hopefully in a completely safe place.

It is NEVER okay for someone to be cruel to a blogger, or to make it personal rather than stating they didn't agree with the subject matter.
If someone doesn't like what you are writing, they don't have to read or comment.

Other than that, we read blogs by choice.