Recently, I stumbled across this post on Edtime Stories. I've been reading over there for a while and almost always enjoy the offerings. I wasn't disappointed this time either. The subject is a little raw and might not be everyone's cup of tea, but it is worth the read. How can you make up your mind if you don't read?!
Anyway, after he posted, apparently there was a flutter of comments (to the post and to him personally I believe) so he posed the following set of questions to get a little more clarification from the female readership. I thought they were great, thought-provoking questions so I stole 'em. Well, I did ask permission first. I'm not going to write a story along this line, but in the interest of exploring my own fantasies I think they are worth the answering.
1. If you have a rape fantasy what do you think is the most exciting thing about it?
I would hazard a guess that most women have a "rape" fantasy brewing somewhere inside. While I don't fantasize about an actual violent act, I do get twitchy from the thought of the raw power behind it. As I've begun to explore my own sexuality, I've discovered that I respond very well to raw and unrestrained power and passion. I think my rape fantasy is fed from those two components.
2. Is fear part of the heightened sexual excitement?
I'm not sure that I'd feel actual fear during a rape fantasy. There are some lines that anyone can cross in the sexual realm, but turning over this type of control and power would require a huge commitment and connection with the other person. It wouldn't be done lightly and would be with someone that I could absolutely trust. So, I don't think I'd feel fear. The heightened excitement would come from the element of not knowing what would be coming next. I think that I would be plenty turned on if he said, "I'm going to rape you tonight." I think I'd be even more turned on if he just unexpectedly started the fantasy.
3. Do you feel that if the guy takes total control you are freer to explore things that you feel are not proper?
I love this question! As I've shared, I have a strong other half of myself that is pretty straight laced and well...good. I'm loving that this naughty one is weaving her way into every part of me, but there are still some things that even I have "prude" moments over. I've discovered that I think I might very much enjoy a dominant/submissive relationship. Probably not in the extremes of the lifestyle, but I do enjoy handing over control to my lover. Also, there is a freeing aspect from simply experiencing what is given to me rather than having to say, "I want this." or "I want to try that." Not that I can't voice those, but sometimes it is a sense of being free.
4. If you have played out a rape, did you use a safe word or other form of safety net? If not was it because it would stifle the excitement?
This is one fantasy that is just such...a fantasy. Now, with that said, I would think that a safe word wouldn't be needed. I have a feeling I'd thrive under that unexpectedness and abruptness. Sometimes the most erotic part is just having to go with the flow and shed inhibitions. Plus, again there would be a huge trust thing between us. I would know deep down that he'd never do anything to really hurt me so maybe a safe word wouldn't be needed. Then again, I've never played this particular fantasy out and I just might need a safe word. Well...probably not!
5. Do you feel that you owe a date ‘something’ if he is good to you, even without a spark?
Absolutely not! And anyone who though I did would be a total dick.
Thanks for sharing this Ed! Oh and yeah...for letting me steal the questions and pimp you a little on my blog.